My Horizon
by LuffyMarra
Summary: What if it wasn't Kaidan's hate for Cerberus that caused him to turn away from Shepard.


My Horizon

A/N: So this is my AU on why Kaidan would blow off Shepard on Horizon. Have fun reading it. Spacial thanks to Kaden-san for betaing this story for me.

Disclaimer: Bioware owns everything about Mass Effect. I just play the games.

Kaidan slowly dropped to his knees, as he used his biotics to rid himself of the last of the stasis. Falling onto his hands, the officer extended his biotics into a small shield around his body. He could still see and hear those bug things flying around, and he had no intentions of letting them freeze him again. Raising his head, he saw some of the Collector's pods sitting around him. He knew that he had been lucky, the Collectors had been about to place him in one, when they had all turned and ran back into the colony. What puzzled him was why they had gone back inside the colony. As far as he knew, every one of the colonists had been frozen, so what or who had set them running? Just as he managed to catch his breath, and regain his bearings, the sound of gun fire began to echo through the air. Knowing that none of the colonist were biotics, and could not have freed themselves, he quickly realized that help must have arrived, and certain that they would be greatly outnumbered, he ran in the direction of the fighting determined to be of some help.

Coming to one of the many ledges that surrounded the inside of the colony, Kaidan looked down to see a group of three people slowly working their way through the Collector forces. Never being one to just sit around while others did the fighting, he left the ledge and slowly made his way inward. Along the way, Kaidan ended up fighting off several lone Collector soldiers, but he knew that each one he took out was one less the rescue group had to face. He didn't bother trying to keep the rescue group in sight; the commander knew that the path that they were taking would lead to the clearing for the defense turrets. Coming to one of the buildings that made up the perimeter of the clearing, he hacked his way into the building, but stopped at the window trying to get a look at the people that had come to help the colony. When he did, he felt his heart stop and his brain freeze, because after all his former leader was supposed to be dead.

But it was really her, it was _Shepard_!

If it wasn't for the fact that the Turian (which he now realized was Garrus) kept calling the woman Shepard, he would have believed that this was another one of his dreams. He had heard the rumors, had Anderson stonewall him at every turn, but even then Kaidan had been hesitant to allow himself to hope. Now he could feel a part of himself, which had died with Shepard, slowly coming back to life.

Kaidan didn't break out of his stupor until he saw the team get into defensive positions, and heard the slowly increasing hum coming from the turrets. Realizing that they had some how calibrated the turrets, and were now trying to give the guns time to power up, he quickly pushed down the emotions churning inside of him and allowed his training to take over. As he sprinted up the nearby stairs to get into a better position, the Sentinel could hear the sounds of rifle fire and Shepard's shouted orders over the hum of the building energy. Coming to a balcony, he pulled out his own rifle, and lined up a shot that took out the husks that were trying to flank Shepard. Wave after wave of Collectors and husks, came at the ground team, but Kaidan always made sure that none of enemy was able to get them from behind.

Just as the last and biggest Collector dissolved into dust, the main guns turned and began to fire on the Collector ship. Knowing that this battle was over, Kaidan dropped his now useless rifle, and started working his way out of the building towards Shepard. He fell against a wall, as the roar of a ship's engine filled the air and shook the ground, but was quickly back on his feet and moving once more.

As Kaidan got closer to the clearing, he could hear voices, but couldn't make out what they were saying past the beating of his heart in his ears. Then he heard a male voice shouting, and Shepard's voice trying to calm him down. Just hearing her voice seemed to settle something inside him, because the voices suddenly became much clearer.

"Shepard? Wait. I know that name. Sure, I remember you. You're some type of big Alliance hero."

Kaidan heard Delan saying just as he came to the last group of crates, which hid the ground team from view. The Sentinel decided that he didn't really like the fact that the mechanic didn't seem to appreciate exactly who he was talking too. So he decided it was time someone reminded him.

"Commander Shepard. Captain of the Normandy. The first human Specter. Savior of the Citadel."

Kaidan found he barely kept himself from adding '_The woman I love._' to that list.

"You're in the presence of a legend, Delan. And a ghost."

He hadn't meant to add on the last part, but his fears and doubts had briefly gotten the better of him.

"All the good people we lost, and you get left behind. Figures. Screw this. I'm done with you Alliance types."

Even as Kaidan watched, he couldn't bring himself to care about Delan, and quickly turned his attention back to Shepard. He soon found his feet had a mind of their own, and he was slowly getting closer to the Commander. The dark-haired Sentinel knew he should keep their reunion professional, that no one really had any idea how close the Commander and he had been, but he found the impulse to prove this was real to strong to resist.

"I thought you were dead, Shepard," he whispered, as he pulled her into a hug. "We all did." Kaidan's eyes met Garrus's over Shepard's shoulder and the Turian nodded his greeting. Even as he felt the Commander tighten her hold, she began to speak.

"Listen to me, Kaidan. I need you to walk away, as if you were mad at me, than check your Omni tool. Everything will be explained then, I promise. Please, Kaidan."

Even as Shepard finished speaking, Kaidan could feel himself stealing his heart and mind to do as she asked. For the second time in his life, he would walk away from the woman he loved. Even though once again a part of him was screaming for him to stay by her side and tell their responsibilities to screw off.

"Alright." He whispered his acquiescence into her hair, trying to memorize the feel of her in his arms, before he forced himself to step back.

He wasn't sure he could convince anyone he was angry at her, until he saw the Cerberus logo on her armor. He quickly allowed the anger he has always felt for the organization fill his mind and his words. It wasn't until, Garrus, snapped an angry comment at him, that he refocused and realized that he need to walk away now, or he would never be able too.

"I know where my alliances lay," he said, his eyes locking briefly with Shepard's. As she gave him a small nod, to tell him she understood his hidden meaning he then turned and began to walk away. But he quickly found that his heart wouldn't let him leave without saying one more thing.

"Goodbye, Shepard. And be careful."

Stepping between two stacks of crates, he stopped just out of their line of sight and began to listen to what was happening.

"Joker- send the shuttle to pick us up. I've had enough of this colony."

"You alright, Shepard?"

"I'm fine, Garrus. I'm just ready to get out of here. Mordin?"

"All done, Shepard. All available data has been gathered. Will be very busy. Can't wait to start analysis."

Kaidan knew he shouldn't be eaves-dropping on them, but he needed to be able to hear Shepard's voice for as long as possible. He knew it was strange, but the more he heard her voice the more real this became, and the harder it was not to run back to her side. Finally, he heard the sound of a small shuttle landing in the clearing. Peeking around the box he could see Garrus entering the craft, as the Salarian finished doing something on his Omni tool before he nodded to Shepard and entering the vehicle himself. As if she felt his gaze, Shepard turned briefly and looked around the area before turning and entering the shuttle. As he watched the doors close behind her, the dark-haired man felt something inside of him cry out, before a beeping from his Omni tool distracted him.

Looking at the object in question, Kaidan saw that he had a new message from an unknown source. Glancing once more at the disappearing shuttle, he straightened up and reminded himself that he was an Alliance soldier and he still had a job to do.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Returning to his quarters, he contacted headquarters and requested help for the remaining colonists on Horizon. After being grilled by the brass for over an hour, he finally disconnected and went out to help survivors pick up the pieces of their shattered lives.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It wasn't until later that night that he remembered the unknown message on his Omni tool. Sitting on the edge of his bed, Kaidan brought up his Omni tool and stared at the blinking mail icon. He was very reluctant to open it, but knew in his heart that he would always regret not seeing what Shepard had to say. Taking a deep breath he brought up the letter and was surprised to see that it was a video message.

"_Kaidan, I'm recording this in Mordin's lab as it's the only place on the new Normandy that isn't bugged. Mordin is a former STG, a little hyper and one of the few I can trust on this ship right now. Don't worry though, he's not the only one Joker, Garrus and Dr. Chakwas have also joined me on the ship, so I'm not totally alone. I want you to know that I did try to find you after I woke up, but I was stonewalled by Anderson. When I asked Chakwas and Joker said they had lost contact with you not long after my death. I understand why Anderson did it and I've come to agree with him. Which is why, even though I want you here with me, I have to ask you to stay away. During my talks with The Illusive Man, Miranda, and Jacob, I've come to realize they have a lot of spies in the Alliance. I also think they have Anderson under watch, but from what I can understand they can't keep surveillance on you because all your records are too well classified." _

Kaidan watched as she paused and her head whipped towards the side. After a few tense moments, he heard the Salarian give the all clear and Shepard turned back to the screen.

"_Because of the rumors that the Illusive Man has circulated around Citadel space, the Alliance and the Council don't trust me right now. But I need you to know that I would never betray the Alliance and that I have a plan that in the end will completely screw over the Illusive Man and Cerberus. This is where you can help me I need someone in the Alliance that I can send data to, without having to worry that the Illusive Man will find out I'm about to give away all of his dirty little secrets. If you can, please meet me at the Afterlife club on Omega in a week. Please, Kaidan, I could really use you help."_

As the video ended, Kaidan found he could only feel a sense of relief. He had known that Shepard would never betray him, and would never betray the Alliance. But could he really help her?

Feeling the strain from the day's events catching up to him, he decided that this decision was one that he needed to sleep on. So placing his Omni tool on his nightstand, he turned out the lights and fell into a troubled sleep.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A week later, Kaidan found himself standing on Omega and wondering if he was doing the right thing. He had managed to get a week of leave and it hadn't taken him much to get here unnoticed, but now he wasn't sure if he could do it. Just as he had almost convinced himself to turn back, a Batarian approached and blocked his way back to his ship.

"Aria says to get your butt to the Afterlife club. Once your there, you'll be shown where your meeting has been set up."

Deciding that it would be best not to argue with the Batarian, Kaidan nodded and started down the hallway. He found that it was easy to find the club and he was allowed right in. Looking around, he quickly noticed another Batarian waving him over and the dark-haired man was quickly shown into a backroom.

"I'm glad you could make it, Kaidan."

As Shepard stepped out of the shadows, Kaidan felt relief fill him and he moved forward to pull her into a hug.

"Sorry, Shepard, looks like I didn't do a good enough job getting here unnoticed. Someone named Aria knew I was coming."

"I wouldn't worry about Aria because she always knows everything that's happening on Omega. Not to mention she owes me a few favors and you coming here won't go beyond these walls. So did you have a chance to think about what I asked?" reassured Shepard, as she gently pulled back from the hug, and led him over to a couch to sit down.

"Truthfully? I would rather be on the Normandy with you, watching your back like I use to do. But I can understand why you need someone on the outside, so yeah I'll do it, Shepard."

As if he words were some kind of signal, two figures entered through a door in the back of the room. Kaidan was surprised to see a Salarian and a Drell come into the light.

"The Salarian is Mordin Solus and you met him on Horizon. He's the one that sent you my message without Cerberus knowing. The Drell is Thane Krios. We just recruited him on Illium. "

"Wonderful to meet you face to face Commander Alenko. Getting message to you was a delightful challenge. Cerberus is always monitoring all forms of communications. Finding a way around them was refreshing break. Need your Omni tool so I can create a link that Cerberus will not know about."

Kaidan couldn't speak for a moment; he was trying to decide exactly how many cups of coffee Mordin had before coming here. Then he decided he didn't really care and took off his Omni tool to, give it to the hyper Salarian, before he suddenly recalled whom Thane was.

"Wait, Thane Krios? As in the assassin?"

He watched as Shepard nodded yes and Thane gave a small bow in acknowledgment before he walked over to watch Mordin work.

"Shepard, exactly _what _have you gotten yourself into this time?"

Seeing her smile made a warm feeling enter his chest, but it quickly grew cold as she began to tell him what had happened to her over the last two years and six months. By the time she was done, he was seeing red and wanted to take out Cerberus so badly, he almost took back his agreement to not join her. But as she began to lay out her plan, he couldn't keep the smile that formed on his face.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Months later, a smile crossed Kaidan's face as he downloaded the latest batch of data from Shepard. With Mordin's and Tali's help, she had been able to slowly hack and decrypt the information stored in the Normandy's database. Then once a week, she would go into Mordin's lab and use the secure connection to her Omni tool, to send the data to him. Once he received it, he would download it onto a secure hard drive, (which the Salarian had also provided) and begin to sort the data into folders for easy access. Kaidan made sure to never read too far into the files as the first and only time he had, it had taken every bit of his self-control not to go ring a few peoples' necks.

Kaidan honestly could not wait until the Collectors were finished because then they could finally put all of this information to good use. Also, Shepard would be able to tell Cerberus and the Illusive Man off, before coming back to the Alliance. Kaidan personally hoped Joker would be recording that conversation, not only could they use it to clear Shepard with the Alliance and Council, but Kaidan had a feeling that Shepard would put on a really good show.

The beeping of his Omni tool broke Kaidan out of his thoughts and he looked at the device in surprise. Shepard had never sent two batches of data in a row; there was too great a risk of Cerberus finding out about it. When he saw that it was a video message, Kaidan grew even more worried. He had received a few messages from Shepard over the last few months, but it was always sent with the data, never by itself.

_"Kaidan, there's been a change in plans. The Collectors came and took the whole crew; the only ones left are Joker, the special ops team and myself. We're about to go through the Omega-4 relay and take this fight to their doorstep. If you don't hear from us...from me within a week, take all the info we have gathered to Anderson. I'll try my best to come back to you, but there is a good chance we could die there. If we don't...don't come back, you'll have to lead the Alliance and Council against the Reaper invasion. You know what's coming, please don't let them keep putting off preparing for it. But most of all please take care of yourself. You're the main reason why I fight. I think you have been for a long time and will always be. I'll see you on the other side." _

Kaidan could only step back in shock. Now he knew why Shepard would never tell him where they would be fighting the Collectors. He had always thought it was because she didn't know, but it was because she knew the mission was suicide. She had known he would want to come with her, but had made sure that he would not be able too. Shepard wanted him to lead, since he knew about the Reapers, but he didn't want too. _He wanted to be with her!_ Realizing what he had just thought, he gave himself a mental slap and sitting up straight began to get to work. She had given him a task, one she could trust no one else to complete and he had no intentions of letting her down.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Hours later, he slumped into his seat in relief after getting a video from Joker of Shepard cutting all communications with the Illusive Man.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A month later, Kaidan was surprised to have Admiral Hackett come into his office. Standing quickly, he saluted and stood at attention.

"At ease, Commander. I have some news for you."

"Sir?"

"Commander Shepard is coming to Earth, but as soon as she steps foot on land she will be under arrest."

Feeling an outburst coming, Kaidan quickly forced it down, when the Admiral raised his hand for quiet.

"It's not just for aiding Cerberus; she had to blow up the Alpha Relay, to delay the Reapers. But in destroying it, she also killed over 300,000 Batarians, so you can see how this doesn't look good for her."

"Three hundred...thousand?"

Kaidan dropped down into his chair, overwhelmed by what Shepard had had to do. He could only imagine what this was doing to Shepard. She was someone that did all she could to save lives, so to sacrifice so many...Kaidan didn't know if he could have done such a thing. Then another fact suddenly registered with him.

"Sir, you believe us about the Reapers, now?"

"I do. I saw the information, the Commander has gathered on them, but I think it will take more then that to get her out of this one."

"Admiral, Shepard has been sending me data for months now. I've also been trying to gather my own Intel, when I haven't been on missions. Maybe between what she has and what I have, it will be enough to finally convince the rest of the higher ups that we've been telling the truth."

"That might work, but there's one thing I want you to change. I want you to give the data to Councilor Anderson and let him present it to the tribunal."

Kaidan opened his mouth to argue and once more stayed silent when the Admiral indicated that he wasn't finished.

"Most of the other Admirals believe that you've cut all ties to Commander Shepard and I want them to keep believing that story. That way, after we get Shepard off the hook, it will be that much easier to get you placed among her crew again. Alenko, if they think for even a minute that you're more loyal to her than to the Alliance, there will be no way that they will let you back on her crew. She needs people that she can trust and that she can work well with otherwise she doesn't have a chance at stopping the Reapers."

Knowing that he would do anything, if it meant he would be with the woman he loved, he stood once more and saluted to show his acceptance.


End file.
